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Oh. My. Gawd!

It appears that my luck has been in locating some of George Barris’ most terrifying inventions over the previous few days. The first was the Pontiac Firebird “Travolta Fever,” which had a twenty-cow brown leather inside, a Porsche whale-tail, and Travolta’s smiling visage. Fitzgerald then proceeded to inform me about the “wedding coach” that Barris built for Burt Renyolds and Loni Anderson’s wedding day, a chimaera of a vehicle that can best be described as a poor, unsuspecting International Scout that had been beaten, broken down, and forced to dress like a Wells Fargo stagecoach.

Vulgar? Sure. That’s one of the points I’m trying to make.

The Bugazzi is a Lincoln Mark IV that was customised by George Barris, the man behind television icons like the Batmobile, the Monkeemobile, and the Munster Koach, so it’s in excellent (or at least well-known) company.

Mr. Barris extended Lincoln’s front end to create my Bugazzi, adding a few additional pounds of external chrome, a padded vinyl top with gilt-edged trim, gold wire wheels, and false side exhausts along the way. Coffin-handle door handles, real marble inlay, and a 12-inch HDTV are among the interior’s elegant accents (black and white, of course).